Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Disappearing Act

I am so so tired. I kind of feel sick. Im running on no sleep now. I want to sleep, but Im just too worried about everything. I still don't have a place to live. I have looked at so many apartments. I don't really care anymore. Will everyone just stop pooping on me for one second so my brain can recover.
isn't it interesting how movies try to reflect real life. Its kind of funny really. Even the really sad ones, that make you cry cannot really display how it feels. You know those movies where people simply disappear to escape whatever and then later on they are rediscovered in a new fantastic life. I really don't like those. They make me think that I can just disappear, but everytime I try I find I can't disappear from myself. I guess that's what I really want. I want to disappear from everything, including myself. Then I want to be discovered in a new life. One were everything works out perfect. Maybe if I close my eyes and take a nap, I will awake to find everything is good to go. I am ignoring the things that make me happy because I am stressed about things that make me sad. I just want to go to bed and wake up 3 months from now. I think everything will be worked out by then.

No comments: