finding nemo

Last night I was hanging out at a coffee house downtown. I think I was there for a few hours and then I met some friends for sushi. Sushi was good, but I wouldn't suggest to drink merlot with it. Then it was off for a fun night of dancing and drinking. I got to hang out with Christine* and Jacob*. I never hang out with them. It was a good little change. We got really drunk. Jacob is a very generous person and spent a lot of money buying us drinks. I thought that was nice, but I also felt bad letting someone spend so much on me. When the night was done we took a cab ride home. This morning I awoke and realized my car was downtown. So without much hesitation, I slipped on my running shoes and was out the door to retrieve my car. About 5 minutes into the run, I realized that I was really dehydrated and hung over. That was a really painful run. It was only a little over 2miles, but it hurt. I was glad when I got to my car and drove home. The best part is that I ran off my hangover- I feel great now. Good to know.

thats what the man says

I stayed up until 2am working on my new site. Not much progress but im becoming an actionscripting pro. Today I decorated the office for homecoming. As the designer in the office, people assume I am a natural decorator. My apartment says otherwise. Its late and im sitting alone at a coffee house. I will soon be enjoying some sushi with my friends. I like sushi.

start spreading the news

Im leaving in about 4 months. I decided that now is the perfect time to try a new city. Mission=SF or nearby somewhere bay areaish (is that a word?). As soon as my lease is up, I'm off.

training with the rangers

my secrete is out, the running shoes and dreams of visiting Tokyo are really because I want to be a power ranger:




mostly because I gave up my true dream and came to terms with reality. I will never be a ninja turtle.

};

//Begin random thoughts
{
I went to the laundromat yesterday. Now my cloths are clean.
I also went to the store- got a cute pair of shoes and a new scarf - (its getting cold, brrrr).
I was going to go running, but instead I went and got a cup of hot green tea at the coffee shop downtown.
Then I was going to clean my apartment, but instead I made a big mess.
I wanted to go to sleep, but I painted instead.
Today I was going to work on some web stuff. I don't really want to though. The second something becomes "work" is the second I avoid it.
Now I am at another coffee shop. There is some soothing jazz playing in the background.
I never heard from that job.
I feel like I went on a really good date and was prepared to get married, only to get stood up at the alter.
This is why I don't like interviewing or dating.
};
//End random thoughts

bytes

My parents never owned a home computer. They used type writers. I wrote all my high school papers either on a type writer or at the public library. There were no computers in my home until my second year in college.

I was trilled when I had finally saved up enough of my waitressing tips to buy my very own computer. Knowing absolutely nothing about computers, I had my mind set on purchasing a Dell. I actually ordered one, but something went wrong and it never came. Dell reimbursed my money. Figuring it was bad karma, I decided to wait to buy one from someone else. The following semester I changed my major to graphic design ( I felt inspired after one drawing class and decided physical therepy was not my thing). I enrolled in a class that I was not qualified for. I had never used a mac or any of the adobe suite software applications. It was sink or swim, and I swam. The instructor told me the first day that I should drop the class because I would never pass. I spent hours and hours in the computer lab. That was the most time I had ever spent with any computer. I was computer stupid. I grew to love those macs and bought one of my own. It was a G4 Powermac. That computer has always been good to me. I never really used PCs so I just don't have much to say good or bad about them.

Its been over four years since I got my first computer. Since then I have learned so much and even got my second mac - powerbook. I don't buy them because they are cool or trendy- I'm not a trendy girl. I use them because they work well for what I do and I have never had a problem, and well because they are in my comfort zone. So PC people please don't give me a hard time about my computer. I don't give you a hard time.
That is all

this is strange

I got this in my junk mail, what is it?

And, Genie, just the other day youdidnt care how I saw you. Guess Ill give myself up as a bad job, he told her. Youve got to climb the mountain and walk till I canbuy another burro. Blair, perhaps youcan give an old desert codger a little advice, said Adam.

His mention of a youngfellow suddenly rendered Genie amazed, shy, bewildered. Sunset had passed when Adam got the packs spread, the fire built, andsupper under way.

Kindliness beamed uponher countenance and she seemed to have acquired a more thoughtful eye. Well, youve got to take your medicine now. With the buckle in her hands the girl slowly walked toward the graves ofher parents.

Mother and I took to a surer wayof living.

Weve been about ten days coming over themountains. Despite her garb and its rents, Adam could not but feel proud of her.

They told me Genies story, she said, and her eyes spoke eloquentpraise her lips denied. He called Genie, and she came readily, though not without shyness. Still a child, Genie, he said, huskily, as he disengagedhimself from her wild embrace. Look here, bub, the lad went on, plaintively, I cant stand this wayall night.

How clear had been his vision ofthe future! Adamespied the children in the yard, and now he took cognizance of them. Ill take Genie over there rightthis minute! It whispered to Adam that he was alone on the desert. And asfor the lad, no gold could enhance Genies charm for him. You make me feel old too, she protested, and sheran away. Adam, unpacking the burros, turned them loose, sure oftheir delight in the rich green grass.

And, Genie, just the other day youdidnt care how I saw you. Its hardly a ranch, though we have hopes, replied Blair.

Adam had seen it written in their unconscious eyes.

Look Genie, how grey and dry the canyon is, said Adam hoping to diverther.

Blairs kindliness quickly put the girl at ease.

Wansfell, you mustbe family and friends and all to that girl.

What amazement and delight it would occasion Mrs.

Forgotten were Genies dreams of yesterday!

I learned one thing today

I like to spend a lot of time doing things the hard way. Then I like to give up, get a mcflurry and to return to it later that evening.

forts

ha ha ha, this is how i spent my thursday night:

Awkward

I always have really awkward conversations with the guy that works here. I think it's partially because I cannot hear very well and also because I am awkward. I don't know why I'm incapable of having normal human interaction.

bang ****

I'm a nerd.
So last night I was super good and went to bed at 11pm so that I could get up early and take my car to the mechanic. I slept really well. I remember having a dream that I was with this guy I have never seen before and we were trying to run away from this other guy who was wearing a black t-shirt with red block lettering on it. For some reason we decided the best way to get away was to take plastic bags filled with gasoline and throw them into the nearby trees. Then we lit them on fire. I was in the middle of throwing a gasoline bag at a big willow tree when I heard, "Dude you can bang erika and shyla but I get hanna". This is when I woke up and realized that it was the neighbor downstairs talking super loud. I reached over and grabbed a pair of ear plugs and crammed them in my ears- it was 3am. The neighbors got increasingly loud as the night progressed. I couldn't fall back to sleep, even with my ear plugs in. There were a few moments when they got quite enough or I got tired enough to fall asleep. I had one of those half dream half hallucination type things. I thought my mom was in my apartment. I heard her ask them to quiet down and they politely agreed. Then she left and they got loud again. So I went out on my porch and told them that I needed to get up early and asked them to be quite. They laughed at me. ( Sometimes spatial issues get weird when I'm dreaming, so as they laughed at me, their patio moved up into a balcony on the other side of my apartment). One of the guys said that I shouldn't worry about getting up because time moves according to his laws. He then reached over and grabbed this mysterious clock that was suddenly mounted on the outside of the apartment building. He turned the time back and laughed at me again. Then I looked back into my apartment and saw my younger brother standing there. So I asked him to come outside and then turned to my neighbors and said, "oh yeah well tell my brother that, he just got back from Iraq!" My brother got the smug proud closed mouth grin on his face and popped his collar as he started to stroll towards my balcony door. This is when I woke up again. This time to the sound of the neighbors playing guitar. As if the pounding stereo wasn't enough. I think I got about 5 hours of sleep last night.
So here I am. I got up at 6:30 am. I got ready and headed toward the mechanic. The plan was to drop off the car as early as possible in hopes that he would be able to get it done sooner. The check engine light turned on a few days ago, so I figured it was time for a tune up. The problem is, I don't have the money to pay for a tune up. So when I noticed the light had turned off this morning, I decided to wait and didn't even take my car in. So all that and I didn't even end up getting my car checked. The light turned off the other night as well, I don't really know anything about cars. I'm probably causing more damage by not taking it in, but I just really don't want to charge the $80 on my credit card to get it tuned up. Ugh.
Sometimes I feel really stupid when I complain about things like money. Overall I have a fantastic life and when I hear the things my brother witnessed in Iraq or my friend's brother had to go through in New Orleans, it just puts it all in perspective. Things could be a lot worse and I really am blessed.
Okay, I'm going to sip my coffee now and maybe work on my website and sketch some pictures.
goodbye for now.

... shhh

Does this make sense to anybody?




As always, everything hit me at once.

Working late- that hasn't happened in a while.

I have to get up early and take my car to the mechanic. Then I'm leaving it there all day. I don't know what I will do while it is getting fixed. I think an adventure is in store... shhh

The last time I had to do something like this, I got lost in a rain storm in the middle of Providence RI. That was an adventure. I think I'm going to shoot for something a little different this time around. I really didn't like getting splashed by the NJ car. I was also very unsuccessful at hitch hiking.

Well farewell for now. I'm going home.

check engine light

The check engine light came on in my car when I drove to the coffee shop today. This makes me sad because money is tight and it might force me to postpone my labor day plans. It's due for a tune up... I hate my car right now.
I think the cute coffee boy tricked me into drinking caffeinated coffee at 9pm. There will be no sleep for me tonight. The other coffee goers are buzzing and chatting loud about the song playing oh so loud. Soon I will have to leave as the coffee shop will close.
I think I am going to run away- don't worry, I will be back. You might find me in Chile.

Adios!

I make my own dolls

she works at the Laundromat.
she counts out quarters in piles of four.
she makes her own dolls.

coffee goers

I really enjoy these little chocolate candies at this fun little coffee shop. They taste really good, especially if you put them in your cheek and drink coffee, it is like a mocha mix in your mouth- fantastic. I think more men should wear eyeliner, not all men, but more men - it looks really good on some.
I have been here for hours. I spent a long time sketching pictures of all the coffee goers- I didn't stop until I noticed some of them becoming uncomfortable by my constant glances. I think the people here are really interesting.
I drew a picture of the lady from the laundromat. I think I might do something with that later- its a fun little sketch.
Last night I was sitting down town and I saw a guy leave a building. This would have been perfectly normal, except he was wearing latex gloves and snapped one of them while he exited the building. There is something creepy about a well dress man leaving a building at night while wearing latex gloves.
Dancing is fun, but when I'm ready to get my grove on I have a hard time calling it a night so soon. They should allow the dancers to dance all night, down with time limitations. Actually make that down with time. I know there are other cultures that are not so concerned with time and deadlines. They put family and personal relationships above the importance of timeliness. I think I should find such a culture become a part of it.
So the race I run every year is but a few months away- maybe everyone should make bets on whether I can actually do it this year. My distance motivation has been down so I think it is in my best interest to participate in the half marathon rather than the full. Last year I ran the entire 26.2 miles, I'm thinking I will do the 13.1 and try and run it super fast. I guess only time will tell.
This year I think I might do thanksgiving in New England. Is that cliche? I don't care, I have a super amazing friend who I need to visit and since my birthday lands on the magical thanksgiving day, I think I deserve a little vacation. I'm excited. Maybe you all should make bets on this too, I've planned this trip many times over the last year and a half and have yet to make it. I always do the things I say I'm going to, it just takes me a while some times...

ahh this makes me smile

check it out:
home star runner

He still tells it

What did one burp say to the other?

Lets be stinky and go out the other end!




my dad used to tell this joke when I was a kid, wait he still tells it.

you are rude

"You are rude"
Those were the words of some random guy at a bar about 8 months ago. He thought that I had bad manners by not accepting the shot of tequila that he had offered to me. I actually thought I was very polite by declining it. I don't usually play games. So maybe that comes off as rude. Do you think if I continue to be a bitch to every guy who makes an advance that I will regret it some day when I'm old and unattractive? Or do you think that I might find pride in my ability to weed out the fake one night sex requests and hold out for something real. I hope pride is what I will feel. I guess only time will tell...

Precious Places

There were a lot of people outside. It was late evening after a rainstorm. The air was still heavy from the rain. The alley was cold and the walls were damp. They stood in a circle looking at the ground. In the mist of the crowd was a slimy bubble stuck to the old brick drive. It appeared to be the focus of attention. One man shouted out, "It's just a hobo, we should let it go!" I felt a tingle of fear upon hearing this request. Another man jumped out of the circle and popped the bubble. It became apparent that the creature that emerged from the bubble was believed to be a hobo spider. It looked nothing like any spider I have ever seen. It's legs were flailing but didn't appear to be the driving force of motion. It had a flat belly and moved about with ease. It seemed as if it was being pulled by some exterior force. The creature's body was a smooth yellow and appeared to be made of plastic. The crowd split and moved back as the "hobo spider" glided along in a fury. It moved towards me. I grew more afraid. I felt a heaviness in my right hand and looked down to find a can of bug spray. I wasn't sure where it had come from, but I found strength in it's presence and ran towards the creature. As I advanced towards it, I realized that it's face was that of a mouse. I had seen an animal like this before. I didn't stop.
With all my strength I held that can of bug spray with two hand and screamed as I sprayed the creature. It coughed twice. I woke up.

I had to think about it for a little while, but I figured out where I had seen that mouse like face. When I was a girl, I used to collect these doll houses called Precious Places. They were these elaborate houses that came with a whole family of little plastic dolls. Each doll had a magnet on the bottom and you could move them about the house by using a magnet wand bellow the thin plastic floor. My favorite thing in the house was always the little plastic mouse, except it was pink in life and did not have spider legs.

flooded trailers and frank sinatra

Is it so strange that I want to live my life based off of a sinatra song?

Yesterday was a busy day at work. I went to the laundromat that evening. I decided that I am going to illustrate all the characters I encounter there. I'm going to call it the lint series.

This is what I observed about the laundry people:

Some may be a little strange, but only because they are completely genuine and not afraid to be who they are.
Some might be very loud, but only because they have strong opinions and are not afraid to share them with the random people at the mat.
Some might seem completely normal while sitting in the corner reading a book. Those are the same ones with the shifty eyes who spend their hour at the laundry mat observing other people's life's while ignoring their own.

I went for a run through the hills after I got home from the mat. I had an epiphany during my run. I always have epiphanies when I run. I think it's something about being totally alone with your own thoughts. I don't listen to music or have any distractions that would allow me to hide from myself like I normally do. So this is usually the time when I figure things out in my head. On this particular run I decided that I want to dedicate my life to having adventures. I want to balance it out with a good stable job during the week. The rest of my life is to be spent traveling or pushing myself to do things I have never done. It would be nice to have a buddy to share this with, but I am no longer going to let that stop me or hold me back. Looking back on my life, the best decisions I have made were those that I did for myself and usually ended up doing alone. Ideally I would find an amazing person with the same drive as myself, but I have no reason to believe that that will ever happen.

Later that same night I went and visited an old friend. He just got back to town and moved into a one bedroom apartment nearby. He made me a couple margaritas and we talked about all the random things that make life what it is. It was a good conversation, I didn't feel the need to talk about the things that make me sad. We chatted about bum culture and plants. I went home around midnight.

I wanted to go to bed but I suddenly wasn't tired. So I thought I would call a friend and see what was going on. It was clear that if I wanted to do anything else that night, it would have to be hitting the bars. I really had no desire to do that. For some reason I just wanted to hang out with someone- maybe I should have stayed at my other friend's house longer.

So restless mind + loud neighbors = no sleep. grr
I had a dream that I moved into a trailer home that was built in the middle of a lake. When I moved in, the lake was drained. Someone neglected to inform me that the lake would rise again. I woke in my home one night and looked out the window to see the water had risen about 5 ft. I opened the window and pushed a log away that was floating in the water. I watched as the water rose above the window and swallowed my home. I wasn't worried at all until I realized that I had no way of getting to work. My car was also under the water.

I woke up at noon today, so I guess I must have fallen asleep at some point. I don't have to work until 4pm, so now I am hanging out at the coffee shop and writing this blog. Coffee is yummy.