Sunday, February 18, 2007

Insomnia

I went and got some chinese food to help me feel better. Yes, something about that orange chicken and greasy egg roll helped to ease my haunted mind. I feel somewhat uneasy about even posting this blog because it disturbs me so. So, there is a chance I will not post it. A chance it will be saved on my hard drive and never published.
I don't remember the course of events that lead to the situation I found myself in. I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't wake myself. There was a woman in my apartment. She rummaged through my things and occasionally ran to my bed to try to wake me. I knew she was there. She was looking for something. She has been here before. The first time was about 6 months ago. I had just moved into my apartment. I was laying in my bed and having some crazy nightmares...happens often. I thought my eyes were open, but I knew I was still asleep. She held a cell phone up to my ear. I tried to move but my body felt paralyzed. There was a voice yelling to me through the phone. No matter how I tried, I could not understand. It was either a foreign language or she spoke too fast to comprehend. Then I caught the sound of velcro. You know the ripping sound it makes when you tear it apart. It was that sound I could hear coming from my living room. It sounded like there was someone fiercely tearing velcro—or doing something with a similar sound.
Then I woke up.
Last night my restless brain kept me awake until 3am. Then I went to work this morning at 10:30am. Once I got home from work, I found myself exhausted. My eyes shut. My brain sucked me into a strange world of fast talkers and indescribable landscapes. I wish I could remember my dream's storyline—or lack thereof. The only part I remember was pretty gruesome. I woke up this evening. Now I'm screwed as far as sleep goes tonight. I may just stay up all night.

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